Bourbon, Brass & Last Night’s Beignets

NOLA was a deep fried fantasy vacation. 

Where they stayed: Astor Crowne Plaza – right on the corner of Bourbon and Canal at the edge of the French Quarter.  Their room was fairly spacious: two comfy queen sized beds, lounging chairs, and a big TV (with cable), on which they may or may not have watched several hours of “Say Yes to the Dress”, which also may or may not have inspired Alice, Ash and Britt to exercise their wedding dress design creativity by making “designer” wedding dresses out of various hotel fabrics. There were also 10 foot ceilings and the most efficient blackout curtains ever invented (key for those post Hand Grenade mornings), which all added to the superstar ambiance. Also, for the truly lazy, an inhouse tour booking service and fancy seafood restaurant... It would have been perfect if only the outdoor pool had been open and it wasn’t so miserably cold. Apparently the travellers’  first visit down south overlapped with the first time in history that all 50 states were below freezing. Yay?

What they ate and drank: Everything. To excess. And where possible, deep fried in lard.  Every morning they started with beignets, first from Café du Monde, next from Café Beignet (on Royal), lastly from Café Beignet (on Bourbon).  There were conflicting opinions about which was the best, so don’t bother asking!  For lunches, they ate Po Boy sandwiches and had cups of every flavour gumbo under the sun. From touristy places like Acme in the French Quarter to locals’ haunts like the Parkway Bakery, a streetcar ride away.  At Parkway Bakery, baggies full of water were hung from the ceiling to indicate how high the water level rose during hurricane Katrina, a subtle reminder of the strife that the city had faced in the past many years.  There they ate yummy spicy alligator gumbo. For dinners they tried a variety of foods (mostly deep fried): hushpuppies, crawfish, shrimp, chicken, duck, and had more gumbo, seafood pastas and soups, and jambalaya. They also tried bread pudding at every almost every restaurant that offered it. Except, apparently the where it was ranked best. Oops.  The last night of their trip they had a fantastic dining experience at NOLA (sadly, for Alice, who had flown out that morning).  JD, Ash, and Britt enjoyed an appetizer of sautéed shrimp with a smoky sauce, mains of fried chicken, which definitely redeemed the Popeye’s experience, a gluttonously large piece of duck, and a trio of crème brulees.  To drink they had bourbon milk shakes and alcoholic root beer floats at the Bourbon House, and of course,  tried the infamous Hand Grenade drinks which were readily available all along Bourbon St.  Ash loved the sickeningly sweet and slightly toxic taste, while JD, Britt, and Alice choked down theirs grudgingly.  It would take more Hand Grenade’s than JD was willing to drink to be lured into the Bourbon party scene. Think: March Madness + Vegas – the desert.

What they did: They walked around the French Quarter, taking photos, shopping, doing hot sauce taste testing, listening to steam boat pipe music, enjoying pop up jazz performances, and avoiding the men outside of strip clubs advertising, “Free Tittie Tours, Couples Welcome”.  They went four separate ways in the creepy above ground graveyard and didn’t get possessed, although Britt and Ash almost got locked in for the night.  One night they also checked out a cool night art market off of Frenchmen Street, where Alice resisted buying all the things, and they listen to some incredible street jazz, which plays every night of the week in most locations, except for one night a month.  They also took a tour of the swamplands with the Louisiana Tour Company.  Their guide was straight out of an episode of Duck Dynasty: folksy, awkwardly misogynistic, but highly entertaining and hospitable. He also knew the swamplands inside out.  Fun facts: there are approximately one million alligators living in the Bayou.  They hibernate deep in the mud during the winter, but can be stirred to the surface by brute force (i.e. if the tour guide steps on the gas and break at the same time and churns the water up like a blender).  Alligators in the water look super cute from a boat, and even cuter IN the boat, which we learned when our eclectic guide, Captain Ray, pulled out his pet alligator, 18month old Elvis.  Thankfully nobody was eaten by alligators, although Ash was tempted to swim in the Bayou after hearing that the locals take their kids there to swim year round.  One morning was spent at City Park, where the group checked out an outdoor art garden, although they were more distracted by the beautiful sweeping Oak trees, dripping with Spanish Moss.  One tree in particular inspired the four to start up a country rock band: Bourbon, Brass & Last Night’s Beignets, since they already had the perfect album cover.  After being distracted by her fellow travellers and the French Quarter for three days, Ash finally decided to prepare for her presentation while Alice, Britt and JD went and checked out the old country mansions in the Garden District. In the end, Ash did make it to the American Public Health Association (APHA) conference for one full day.  Attendance was eased by the convenient shuttle bus running directly between the conference and their hotel. While Ash was presenting, JD and Britt had their own fun intellectual time reading their way through the voodoo museum. Britt didn’t get hexed by a voodoo queen, but she did buy a voodoo doll and some candles to do her own voodoo, so don’t cross her!

Lessons learned: Obesity is hard to avoid when your have more deep fried food options than fresh. We missed our calling making DIY wedding dresses.  NEVER say no to bread pudding. You just might miss the best one!

A brief and fleeting love affair with NOLA, and the next trip is planned… stay tuned!