We took a 10 and a half hour flight from Amsterdam to
Johannesburg, checking into Tsogo Sun Hotel (which was fine) for a few hours of
sleep, room service, and a dose of malarial pills before starting our tour to
Kruger Park. We piled into a van at 5:50 a.m., joining 9 MBA students who had
been in JoBurg for a work trip and hadn’t yet been to bed from celebrating the
night before. They slept most of the trip, sweating out their alcohol, and
waking only occasional to harass the driver about the next coffee stop. They
also took an occasional turn at berating the driver over his driving – but this
we understood as we careened across the windy roads to Kruger, at one point,
sliding in oil that had been spilled.
Where we stayed: We stayed at Thornhill Lodge, a cute and
quaint lodge in the middle of a private game reserve. Several cabins were
scattered around the property, close to a pool and a central eating area/bar.
We each had our own rooms (Ash and Britt in one, and JD in another), complete
each with a four-poster bed with mosquito netting. Outside our windows we could
see zebras and buffalo, and at one point heard a giraffe eating nearby. There
were many lovely guests from all around the world, and we came together for a
communal dinner served by a campfire each night to talk about our days and what
we were most looking forward to the next day.
What we ate and drank: Lots of home made food, served in
great company. Hearty food like venison pie, vegetables, mushroom soup, and
apple crumble; another night we had coleslaw, beets, corn, chicken, and sausage;
and yet another we had pork, beef, gravy, cauliflower, and cream cheese pudding.
We also had a home packed lunch of eggs, ham and cheese sandwiches, and yogurt
for a long safari day. Ashley drank all the drinks – the five drinks named
after the “Big 5” animals, including: the Happy Elephant, the Big Buffalo, the
Nosy Rhino, the Roaring Lion, and the Elegant Leopard. Ashley was the first
person to achieve this amazing (embarrassing?) feat. JD drank Savannah Ciders. On
the way back to JoBurg, they ate hot dogs and piri piri chicken, JD’s fave.
What we did: WE SAW ALL THE ANIMALS! ALL OF THEM! UP CLOSE!
We went on three game drives over the course of our tour – two in the private
game reserve, and one in the beautiful, expansive, nature reserve that is
Kruger Park. We saw giraffes, impalas, buffalos, rhinos, hippos, monkeys, jackals,
warthogs, baboons, elephants, a leopard, ostriches, all sorts of birds, among many
others. We also saw a hungry baby rhino, pacing hyenas, copulating lions, and a
stinky honey badger at an animal rehab. It takes a long time to see all these
animals, including a 14 hour Kruger Park day, so some of these trips were also
interspersed with JD, Britt, and/or Ash shutting one (or both) eyes… just for a
minute… until the guide said “LION!” or “ELEPHANT” or “FOOD STOP”. There were
so many beautiful images, like that of a giraffe drinking water from a lake,
snapping it’s neck upwards quickly and spraying water into the air, or seeing
zebras wag their tails in a dawning light. There were mischievous moments, like
when three little warthogs snuck into a fenced in picnic area where they could
dig and make trouble. There were funny moments, like watching an ostrich move.
Just move. Like at all. And then there were moments of sheer terror, like
realizing that those doors and windows you thought were going to protect you
from all the animals are actually only doors and no windows and oh by the way
you have to sign a waiver because there are lions and no the driver does not
carry a weapon. At one point we were about 8 meters away from 3 young lions
eating a wildebeest. We were close enough to hear them lick their chops,
looking directly at us. The safari car was silent as people took pictures,
until Ashley’s anxiety got the better of her, and she swore the lions could
hear her beating heart and her hyperventilating, and she said “Are we done
here?” At another point, we angered a group of elephants, and one loudly
trumpeted to signal distress and alert 10 other VERY LARGE elephants to walk
threateningly towards our vehicle. Still to this day Britt wishes we had waited
just a little longer to speed away so she could get the perfect picture. We
were nearly thwarted in our efforts to flee by a journey of giraffes blocking
our way. Needless to say, Ashley will not be going back on safari anytime soon.
She did not get eaten by a lion on any of those three trips, but did manage to
get mildly injured when a part of the safari car fell on her head as they sped
out of the game reserve. On the way home we stopped for a view of Blade Lake
Canyon, one of the largest canyons in the world. Our guide made us make a
cheesy promise that we would not be amazed by the canyon, but we couldn’t help
but say “wow” as we approached the cliff. Luckily we didn’t wager the rest of
our ride home or it would have been a very long walk.
Scariest Moment: You might of thought it was when we were
close to lions ripping the flesh off of a wildebeest, or when our lodge was probably robbed (or so
we think when two men with visible guns showed up and the staff got incredibly
uncomfortable), but it was actually when the three travellers each heard that a
plane had been hijacked in South Africa (and they were to be travelling by
plane the next day). They unfortunately heard this snippet of news just before
heading out on safari, then patiently ignored their stress (and avoided talking
to each other, hoping neither of the other two had heard), until they got home.
Turns out it was misinformation.
Lessons learned: Don’t engage with a tour guide about a contentious issue (like poaching) when they are the one keeping you safe from hungry animals.
Some more questions for Cape Town…
1) Will day drinking on a South African wine tour get us into any trouble?
2) How will Ashley and Brittany deal with separation by continents when JD and Britt head home and Ashley stays in South Africa for her conference?
Stay tuned!
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